"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
