ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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