if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
soo... how was my night?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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