Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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