i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
