In the future we'll all be gay
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
