But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
