i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
