we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
