I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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