Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
