Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
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Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Damn victory sex feels great
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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