it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
