He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
