your thong is hanging out like whoa
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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