i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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