school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
