You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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