I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize