my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
