tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
