You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize
