too bad you live with your parents still
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
