I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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