i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
