I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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