Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Boobs speak an international language.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
