If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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