all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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