I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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