Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
