watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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