you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have post one night stand depression
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