I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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