Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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