i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.