their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.