so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My liver is preforming stress tests.