My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize