nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.