She said her name was "party"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
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Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out