If that was your dad, he is hot
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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