You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
