I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
