Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
