Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
