You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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