im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I deserve this hangover.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
