whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
