so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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