I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
