Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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