Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need a beard to bite.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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