You're completely useless in the revolution.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Randomize
