Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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