i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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