I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
