Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
