is your mom at the bar?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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