So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
