Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
now i know why i became what i already was.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
