We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
