there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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