I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
