Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
