I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
