He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
