u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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