I'm jealous of your bromance
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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