Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
