Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
