Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
