He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize