About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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