and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
