Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize