But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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