hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
