Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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