He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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